Everyone knows the best food fights happen at the kids' table anyway.
You're 28 and still sitting at the kids' table for every major family gathering. No room at the regular table, and you're still the youngest. You've become the butt of all the jokes. "Hey Joey, need a bib?" Heh heh. You've gone by "Joseph" since the 9th grade. And they know it.
What they don't know is, you're getting the last laugh as usual. Why? Because at the kids' table, no one can see you feeding this dry-ass turkey to the dog. No one can see you flicking green bean casserole between finger goal posts.
They just see a full-grown man with his knees squished up to his chin. And that's just fine by you.