This is no stay-at-home crib. It wants a career.
Buy this portable crib: if you want your child to embrace the nomad life from an early age.
Don't buy this portable crib: if you want your child to embrace life as a gravy boat captain at any age.
In 99% of uses, this portable crib doesn't: like surprises.
Left to its own devices, this portable crib would: chain itself to a tree in protest.
If you traveled to the past, people would think this was: the only way to fly.