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All the on-screen exposure has gone to her giant, bobbly head.

She’s cute, but not like Gerber cute or anything. Just your average, all-American baby-next-door type. But when her parents got the Infant Optics Baby Monitor, everything changed.

She won’t respond to “Madison” anymore. It’s Maydysyn now, with three “y’s.” Maddiee for short. Yes, with an “iee.” It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just how it is. Don’t ask questions. And don’t look her directly in the eyes. Or from the left side. And whatever you do, NEVER film her from behind. The 3.5" LCD color display adds about 10 ounces, and the infrared night vision isn’t the most flattering light.

For a nominal fee, she’ll make daycare appearances. But her rider is pretty specific. She requires six bottles of breast milk, warmed to a precise 98.6 degrees. And she only eats orange foods, organic and homemade. None of that jarred crap. Plus all the toys in the room must be chartreuse. Not green. Not yellow. CHARTREUSE. Also, one Bumbo with play tray. NO EXCEPTIONS … or you’ll be sorry.

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Infant Optics DXR-8 Video Baby Monitor
$149.99 In Stock Baby & Toddler
$149.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Kids.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.